Tuesday, January 25, 2011

pin wheel.

I feel as if my life were a pin wheel.  When in the wind, the pin wheel goes round and round until all you see is a blur of colors.  Except the pin wheel is lucky, because when the wind stops, so does the spinning.  My life is like a pin wheel with a constant steady wind.  Always going, always turning.  It never stops.

I know I rant and complain about being busy all the time, but for old time sake, here I go again.

So I got a cold.  I know, it doesnt sound that bad. But I got the cold last wednesday.  and I had a pageant on Saturday. So if you put two and two together, the climax of my cold just happened to be on, you guessed it! Saturday.  But before I go into my day on Saturday, I have to tell you about my Friday.

Friday morning I woke up 9AM, with my cold, and thinking I was ready to take my math test at 11AM.  I take a dayquil and go to take a shower.  While I was shampooing my hair, I started getting dizzy.  My head was light and the shower stall was spinning.  I remember putting my hand against the wall of the shower to brace myself, and then it goes black, and I'm on the floor of the shower.  I stand up, and lean against the corner for support, but once again, I remember being on the floor.  The second time I stand up, I turn off the water (with shampoo in my hair) grab my towel, and slowly walk to my room.  I call my mom, and tell her I'm going to the wellness center and she calls them to tell them I was on my way.  Once there, they tell me I have to go to the Immediate Care, because I might have hit my head.  So public safety drives me across Stockton, to the nearest urgent care, where I wait for two hours to see a doctor.  Then they ask me a million questions, asking me if I was pregnant like 15 times (I'm pretty sure they didnt believe me when I said no), did a million tests (including an EKG and you guessed it, a pregnancy test) and drew blood.  Another hour goes by (mind you I have not eaten yet, all they would give me was juice) and the doctor comes in to tell me that I'm NOT pregnant (He seemed shocked) and that I had a Urinary Tract Infection.  I finally leave that place at 2:45, and when I get back to school, I leave again for my pageant rehearsal that ended at 11PM.  (Thank God they fed me).

On Saturday, I woke up, and as I said before, my cold was at its climax.  I go to my interview, and later on, the pageant.  I didn't perform as well as I could have.  I'm blaming the past 24 hours and the cold I was dying of.  I did not place, or win any extra awards.  This is a first.  I'm kind of bummed, and I'm starting to think that I'm wasting my time doing pageants.  But every time I think about quitting it, I think about how badly I want the crown, and the experience and it keeps me going.  I know I will win eventually.

On Sunday, My mom and Grandma and I saw No Strings Attached, it was a very cute movie.  We went to safeway and bought food for my dorm and then they left for good old Moorpark.
I wish they would come to visit me more often.  I know they're proud that I'm here by myself and I have not complained to them that I miss home like other kids my age they know have.  But I miss them, especially the weekends when nothings going on and they're out doing fun things at home.  Everyone up here goes home for the weekends or their parents come to them often, but I feel like I never see my family anymore.  I miss spending time with them.  And the worst thing is missing my dog.  Its easier the longer I'm away from them, but if I go home for a weekend or if I skype or talk to them on the phone it makes the home sick feeling come back.  Especially now that the Oscars are coming up.  If February 27th comes and I am not home, I swear I'm going to DIE.  The Oscars are my holiday.  Its our thing to have the extravagant party with all of our friends all dressed up eating costco snacks and drinking martinelli's.  My parents keep telling me that I should do a party in my dorm.  But its not the same.  Thats the one thing I look forward to every year, and all I want to do is go home for it.  Hopefully they'll let me. Hopefully.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not 'OMG I'm so home sick, I'm going to transfer to Moorpark Community at the end of the year' no. I love my school.  I love the experience I'm getting here.   I would make this decision all over again, if I had too. I'm just starting to realize what leaving home actually means, and the changes it brings.  I hate change, I think that why I'm pushing this oscar thing so much, I dont want my tradition to change.


Well I think I have ranted enough. I need to go to sleep. More later.

XOXO,

Kate

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